Now THIS would suck!
Salem woman survives 12 days stuck in a bathtub
PORTLAND, Ore. - A Salem woman who said she spent 12 days stranded in a bathtub after falling in because of a medical condition was rescued Monday, authorities said.
Cue the "I've fallen, and I CAN'T GET UP!" commercial, we got ourselves a live one!
Mary Kelso, 57, was in serious condition at Salem Hospital, said Bill Holmstrom, a spokesman for the Salem Fire Department.
i.e., thankful to be outta that goddamn tub! Think she'll take a bath any time soon?
Holmstrom, who declined to describe Kelso's medical problem, said Kelso had no access to food or medications and survived the ordeal by drinking water from the faucet.
Duh - If I had access to valium & pizza, I'd be happy to stay there the rest of my life!
"She was just too weak to get out of the tub," he said.
Really!? I thought she just needed a rest!
A friend of Kelso called the owner of the apartment building Monday when she became concerned that she hadn't seen Kelso for several days. The property owner called Salem police.
I don't know if I'd WANT to see her after she'd been sitting in a tub for several days. Although, I assume she'd be squeaky clean.
When the authorities knocked on Kelso's door, they got no answer. Kelso, however, managed to bang a wall hard enough to eventually get their attention.
If she'd only screamed "Michael Jackson's in here and he's touching me!" people would have come running!
Kelso, who was fully clothed, told paramedics that she fell into the empty tub on March 9.
Were they hoping she was naked?
"She was conscious and alert and happy to see us," said Nick Grice, one of seven firefighter/paramedics who responded.
Wouldn't you be happy? Shit, she'd been stuck in a freakin tub for 2 weeks, wouldn't take much to please her at this point.
"I've never had anything similar to this kind of situation before," Grice said. "I've had people maybe stuck on the ground for a couple of days, but never this extreme."
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Trisha Coles, who has been Kelso's next-door neighbor for the past few years, told the Statesman-Journal that she began to get suspicious Sunday when she noticed that Kelso's mail was piling up, her cat was scratching to get into the apartment, her outside garbage can was empty and her blinds were open even late at night.
Well shit, I hope Trish fed the damn cat at least.
"I just call it amazing," Coles said. "Amazing is all I can think."
I figured it'd fall into the 'shit ass luck' category, but hey I could be wrong.
(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
PORTLAND, Ore. - A Salem woman who said she spent 12 days stranded in a bathtub after falling in because of a medical condition was rescued Monday, authorities said.
Cue the "I've fallen, and I CAN'T GET UP!" commercial, we got ourselves a live one!
Mary Kelso, 57, was in serious condition at Salem Hospital, said Bill Holmstrom, a spokesman for the Salem Fire Department.
i.e., thankful to be outta that goddamn tub! Think she'll take a bath any time soon?
Holmstrom, who declined to describe Kelso's medical problem, said Kelso had no access to food or medications and survived the ordeal by drinking water from the faucet.
Duh - If I had access to valium & pizza, I'd be happy to stay there the rest of my life!
"She was just too weak to get out of the tub," he said.
Really!? I thought she just needed a rest!
A friend of Kelso called the owner of the apartment building Monday when she became concerned that she hadn't seen Kelso for several days. The property owner called Salem police.
I don't know if I'd WANT to see her after she'd been sitting in a tub for several days. Although, I assume she'd be squeaky clean.
When the authorities knocked on Kelso's door, they got no answer. Kelso, however, managed to bang a wall hard enough to eventually get their attention.
If she'd only screamed "Michael Jackson's in here and he's touching me!" people would have come running!
Kelso, who was fully clothed, told paramedics that she fell into the empty tub on March 9.
Were they hoping she was naked?
"She was conscious and alert and happy to see us," said Nick Grice, one of seven firefighter/paramedics who responded.
Wouldn't you be happy? Shit, she'd been stuck in a freakin tub for 2 weeks, wouldn't take much to please her at this point.
"I've never had anything similar to this kind of situation before," Grice said. "I've had people maybe stuck on the ground for a couple of days, but never this extreme."
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Trisha Coles, who has been Kelso's next-door neighbor for the past few years, told the Statesman-Journal that she began to get suspicious Sunday when she noticed that Kelso's mail was piling up, her cat was scratching to get into the apartment, her outside garbage can was empty and her blinds were open even late at night.
Well shit, I hope Trish fed the damn cat at least.
"I just call it amazing," Coles said. "Amazing is all I can think."
I figured it'd fall into the 'shit ass luck' category, but hey I could be wrong.
(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
posted by Miss_Vicki at 9:38 PM
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