Holy Shit!!
First off - does anyone else do this? I'm on the phone quite a bit at work, as a legal assistant, and usually end up leaving a lot of voice mail messages. For some reason, even though I know (or assume) that just hanging up after leaving the message is sufficient, I always feel the need to hit the pound "#" sign then go through the 5,000,000,000 options to finally get the message that "your message has been sent." I can't seem to stop doing it. I remember one time in the past I just hung up and the person never got the message, so I guess I'm just overly paranoid. Like I need one more thing to worry about :)
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Ok, so I was sitting here, sipping on some Evan Williams burbon, watching a tape (DVR) of the Oprah show today. Yes, I tape it, fuck you if you don't like it :op - half the time I delete it before even watching, but I usually watch the first few minutes to see if it's anything good. Well today, I learned a lot about shit. I mean, I really did!! Literally!!
There was this guy on the show, Dr. Mehmet Oz (gotta love that name), who started talking about shit.
When it comes to figuring out if you're digesting things properly and eating healthy, Dr. Mehmet Oz says that you should rely on your senses in the bathroom. For starters, have you ever thought about the importance of what your bowel movement sounds like when it hits the water? Listen up!
"You want to hear what the stool, the poop, sounds like when it hits the water. If it sounds like a bombardier, you know, 'plop, plop, plop,' that's not right because it means you're constipated. It means the food is too hard by the time it comes out. It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water [swoosh]."
The next thing Dr. Oz recommends is looking at your stool—c'mon, you've done it before! You should look twice—look at the shape and then, the color.
"It should be an S shape and you want to make sure the color's normal because the color of the poop tells you a lot about how you made it," Dr. Oz says. "You don't want [pieces]. Food is a medicine for you. It helps you. [If the stool is in pieces] by the time you finished digesting your food, you don't have enough of it left to poop out in the right way and probably it's hurt the colon that has to process it. At the end of the day you can analyze your body really effectively by looking at what comes out of your body."
Ok folks, so shall we talk about a "homework assignment" now? :op
P.S. When I googled this guy, I later saw a bunch of info about him and cruelty to animals re Columbia University, so now I want to literally beat the shit out of him. Fucker. Anyone who is cruel to any animal is never going to get any compassion out of me.
***************
Ok, so I was sitting here, sipping on some Evan Williams burbon, watching a tape (DVR) of the Oprah show today. Yes, I tape it, fuck you if you don't like it :op - half the time I delete it before even watching, but I usually watch the first few minutes to see if it's anything good. Well today, I learned a lot about shit. I mean, I really did!! Literally!!
There was this guy on the show, Dr. Mehmet Oz (gotta love that name), who started talking about shit.
When it comes to figuring out if you're digesting things properly and eating healthy, Dr. Mehmet Oz says that you should rely on your senses in the bathroom. For starters, have you ever thought about the importance of what your bowel movement sounds like when it hits the water? Listen up!
"You want to hear what the stool, the poop, sounds like when it hits the water. If it sounds like a bombardier, you know, 'plop, plop, plop,' that's not right because it means you're constipated. It means the food is too hard by the time it comes out. It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water [swoosh]."
The next thing Dr. Oz recommends is looking at your stool—c'mon, you've done it before! You should look twice—look at the shape and then, the color.
"It should be an S shape and you want to make sure the color's normal because the color of the poop tells you a lot about how you made it," Dr. Oz says. "You don't want [pieces]. Food is a medicine for you. It helps you. [If the stool is in pieces] by the time you finished digesting your food, you don't have enough of it left to poop out in the right way and probably it's hurt the colon that has to process it. At the end of the day you can analyze your body really effectively by looking at what comes out of your body."
Ok folks, so shall we talk about a "homework assignment" now? :op
P.S. When I googled this guy, I later saw a bunch of info about him and cruelty to animals re Columbia University, so now I want to literally beat the shit out of him. Fucker. Anyone who is cruel to any animal is never going to get any compassion out of me.
posted by Miss_Vicki at 9:15 AM
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