Happy New Year to me, Happy New Year to meeee....
Well, with the new year comes new wishes, hopes dreams....... it feels like things start over again and you have a whole new shot at getting done the things that, to this point, you have either procrastinated into oblivion, forgot about, were too busy to get to or just pretty much blew off.
The older I get, the more paranoid I become. I cannot believe I’m about to turn 37 - I just can’t fathom it. Granted, high school seems like 20 zillion years ago, but man that’s a lotta years! I usually go through these ‘things’ every so often, more often the older I get, where I ask myself questions like, "Why have you wasted your entire adult life doing absolutely NOTHING!?" and "You’re 36, what the fuck do you have to show for yourself?" I don’t like the answer to either. I make ‘ok’ money but nothing worth bragging about, I’m divorced, no kids, don’t own a home, don’t vacation yearly at some tropical beach hot spot where I can run on the beach naked if I want to.
I’ve had several ‘dreams’ since I was very young, about what I pictured doing with my life - I still have them today - which I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing - good because I still have dreams, but bad because I haven’t fulfilled them, or even really tried all that hard.
The first one involves animals - I love them, they are the thing that really makes me happy. I love being around cats, dogs, pretty much any kind of animal. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was little, but as I grew up and went with my parents to take their dog to the vet for check-ups and such, I realized that most pets HATE going there, so what fun would that be? Not to mention, having to see them die and having to put some to sleep..... well that would just probably kill me. I can’t even walk into a pet store or shelter without bawling like a friggin baby - I literally want to take every single one of them home, and it just breaks my heart that I can’t, and have to leave them there, because there’s room in my heart to love every single one of them. So, you see, I get a bit emotional when it comes to animals, so I figured maybe this wasn’t necessarily the best career choice. My one big ‘animal dream,’ however, is to hold baby lions, tigers, any big cat. I’ve wanted to do that for so long, I would probably give my left arm (hell don’t use it much anyway :p) for just one minute of that. To me, that would be better than winning a new Corvette.
The second one stems from the first - I got to thinking, if I am too emotional when it comes to animals, so why not get into ‘people’ medicine? I’ve always been interested in medicine. I remember when I was a young girl, probably between 10 and 12, buying a used medical anatomy & physiology book at a book sale for next to nothing (good thing, since I had next to nothing on my measly kid allowance). I got it home and dug in like a kid in a barrel of gummy bears. My way of studying is to copy - write down or type into a computer (see, us oldies didn’t HAVE computers when we were young ;)) - the text, or a summary of the text or important statements, and make it into an outline I could study from. I wasn’t too keen on just reading the chapter, since I’m the type (ADD-ish) that had to read the chapter about 10 times before it actually sunk into my brain.
Oh, a little background:
I was always very shy and timid as a kid, not assertive, just the ‘lay low and try not to attract too much attention’ type. This probably comes from my parents being very southern, and very proper - they aren’t the redneck types at all, in fact just the opposite - very cordial, polite, proper and strict. Anyway, I never really had the - well, balls - to realize what I wanted and go after it. Wanna know how I became the kick-ass best legal secretary in the world ever? There were these two really cool, pretty girls at my high school - Denise and Nicki. Ya know, the most popular girls in school, perfect, and of course total bitches. Well, those two, or so I heard, were going to go to school to become ‘legal secretaries’ or ‘legal assistants’ or whatever it was called back then. So, being the timid follower I was, decided maybe if I did that I’d somehow become cool too. Are you rolling your eyes yet? I sure as shit am.
So, never made it to medical school. Went for a few years to a local community college after high school graduation in 1986 (fuck it’s painful to say I did anything almost 20 years ago), then eventually got a job in the legal field as a secretary, so just stopped going - figured, what’s the point? I’m already working as one. Good thing in a way, because college, for that anyway, would have been a complete waste of my time. I learned more from on-the-job training than I ever could have in school.
Tried to go back to school around 1997 (same community college), went for a major in biology/pre-med. Went for two years straight, got perfect straight A’s - not even a ‘B’ on a quiz, A’s all around. Of course, I was working full time in a very busy law firm for an even busier new partner, so suffice it to say that I burnt out pretty quick, and had to stop going, because well I couldn’t stop working.
There was an attorney in that office who was on the board of some scholarship fund for the University of Pennsylvania - very good school, ivy league even. I applied, was accepted into the school (not easy, from what I hear, but who knows), and came this (picture my two fingers about 1 millimeter away from each other) close to getting it - it was for women who were intelligent but couldn’t afford to pay for their education - guess I wasn’t quite needy enough. So, I just never got to go - it was downtown, and my then husband didn’t want me walking around down there at night, alone. Not to mention I couldn’t frickin afford an ivy league school.
So, then came the split with hubby in 2001, and my subsequent move to Portland.
And, here I am, 4 years later, and still haven’t done a goddamn thing with my life. Maybe this year will be the year!
I’d love to start a doggy day care thing out here - I’ve started this ‘thing’ where I doggy & house-sit for the attorneys in my office – when they go on vacation or out of town, I stay at their house and take care of their doggies. Heck, I’d do it for free, I love the dogs and it’s fun staying at their house - something new. But they pay me to do it! Plus, I have no life so I’m pretty much free anytime :). It started with Mochi (see cute little white dog below), and then blossomed into Gen (see cute big black dog below), and Cinder (don’t have a pic, but a cute chocolate brown lab). There are a few ‘doggy day care’ places in town (well, only 3 that I know of) where Mochi, Gen and Cinder go to on occasion, and when I’m taking care of one of these dogs, I’ll take them to one of these places for a day. How friggin fun would that be, to own a place like that!! Tons of dogs, all playing, all day long. That doesn’t even sound like work, although I’m sure it’s no easy task. I would LOVE to do this. I might look into starting up one of these, I’d probably start out with my lawyer contacts and hopefully build up a good client base.
I’d also love to go back to school and finally get that degree I’ve been wanting all these years. There sure isn’t the choice of schools and universities out here that there was in Philly, but I would love to do it. It’s probably too late for medical school to be a consideration for me. I’d have to go to school full time for close what, 8 years? Can’t afford that, wish I could. So, I might go to PA (physician assistant) school or nursing school or something, who knows. I just love medicine - at least I work in the medical malpractice field, so my job involves medicine to a great degree.
Anyway, I’ll keep ya posted, wish me luck!
The older I get, the more paranoid I become. I cannot believe I’m about to turn 37 - I just can’t fathom it. Granted, high school seems like 20 zillion years ago, but man that’s a lotta years! I usually go through these ‘things’ every so often, more often the older I get, where I ask myself questions like, "Why have you wasted your entire adult life doing absolutely NOTHING!?" and "You’re 36, what the fuck do you have to show for yourself?" I don’t like the answer to either. I make ‘ok’ money but nothing worth bragging about, I’m divorced, no kids, don’t own a home, don’t vacation yearly at some tropical beach hot spot where I can run on the beach naked if I want to.
I’ve had several ‘dreams’ since I was very young, about what I pictured doing with my life - I still have them today - which I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing - good because I still have dreams, but bad because I haven’t fulfilled them, or even really tried all that hard.
The first one involves animals - I love them, they are the thing that really makes me happy. I love being around cats, dogs, pretty much any kind of animal. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was little, but as I grew up and went with my parents to take their dog to the vet for check-ups and such, I realized that most pets HATE going there, so what fun would that be? Not to mention, having to see them die and having to put some to sleep..... well that would just probably kill me. I can’t even walk into a pet store or shelter without bawling like a friggin baby - I literally want to take every single one of them home, and it just breaks my heart that I can’t, and have to leave them there, because there’s room in my heart to love every single one of them. So, you see, I get a bit emotional when it comes to animals, so I figured maybe this wasn’t necessarily the best career choice. My one big ‘animal dream,’ however, is to hold baby lions, tigers, any big cat. I’ve wanted to do that for so long, I would probably give my left arm (hell don’t use it much anyway :p) for just one minute of that. To me, that would be better than winning a new Corvette.
The second one stems from the first - I got to thinking, if I am too emotional when it comes to animals, so why not get into ‘people’ medicine? I’ve always been interested in medicine. I remember when I was a young girl, probably between 10 and 12, buying a used medical anatomy & physiology book at a book sale for next to nothing (good thing, since I had next to nothing on my measly kid allowance). I got it home and dug in like a kid in a barrel of gummy bears. My way of studying is to copy - write down or type into a computer (see, us oldies didn’t HAVE computers when we were young ;)) - the text, or a summary of the text or important statements, and make it into an outline I could study from. I wasn’t too keen on just reading the chapter, since I’m the type (ADD-ish) that had to read the chapter about 10 times before it actually sunk into my brain.
Oh, a little background:
I was always very shy and timid as a kid, not assertive, just the ‘lay low and try not to attract too much attention’ type. This probably comes from my parents being very southern, and very proper - they aren’t the redneck types at all, in fact just the opposite - very cordial, polite, proper and strict. Anyway, I never really had the - well, balls - to realize what I wanted and go after it. Wanna know how I became the kick-ass best legal secretary in the world ever? There were these two really cool, pretty girls at my high school - Denise and Nicki. Ya know, the most popular girls in school, perfect, and of course total bitches. Well, those two, or so I heard, were going to go to school to become ‘legal secretaries’ or ‘legal assistants’ or whatever it was called back then. So, being the timid follower I was, decided maybe if I did that I’d somehow become cool too. Are you rolling your eyes yet? I sure as shit am.
So, never made it to medical school. Went for a few years to a local community college after high school graduation in 1986 (fuck it’s painful to say I did anything almost 20 years ago), then eventually got a job in the legal field as a secretary, so just stopped going - figured, what’s the point? I’m already working as one. Good thing in a way, because college, for that anyway, would have been a complete waste of my time. I learned more from on-the-job training than I ever could have in school.
Tried to go back to school around 1997 (same community college), went for a major in biology/pre-med. Went for two years straight, got perfect straight A’s - not even a ‘B’ on a quiz, A’s all around. Of course, I was working full time in a very busy law firm for an even busier new partner, so suffice it to say that I burnt out pretty quick, and had to stop going, because well I couldn’t stop working.
There was an attorney in that office who was on the board of some scholarship fund for the University of Pennsylvania - very good school, ivy league even. I applied, was accepted into the school (not easy, from what I hear, but who knows), and came this (picture my two fingers about 1 millimeter away from each other) close to getting it - it was for women who were intelligent but couldn’t afford to pay for their education - guess I wasn’t quite needy enough. So, I just never got to go - it was downtown, and my then husband didn’t want me walking around down there at night, alone. Not to mention I couldn’t frickin afford an ivy league school.
So, then came the split with hubby in 2001, and my subsequent move to Portland.
And, here I am, 4 years later, and still haven’t done a goddamn thing with my life. Maybe this year will be the year!
I’d love to start a doggy day care thing out here - I’ve started this ‘thing’ where I doggy & house-sit for the attorneys in my office – when they go on vacation or out of town, I stay at their house and take care of their doggies. Heck, I’d do it for free, I love the dogs and it’s fun staying at their house - something new. But they pay me to do it! Plus, I have no life so I’m pretty much free anytime :). It started with Mochi (see cute little white dog below), and then blossomed into Gen (see cute big black dog below), and Cinder (don’t have a pic, but a cute chocolate brown lab). There are a few ‘doggy day care’ places in town (well, only 3 that I know of) where Mochi, Gen and Cinder go to on occasion, and when I’m taking care of one of these dogs, I’ll take them to one of these places for a day. How friggin fun would that be, to own a place like that!! Tons of dogs, all playing, all day long. That doesn’t even sound like work, although I’m sure it’s no easy task. I would LOVE to do this. I might look into starting up one of these, I’d probably start out with my lawyer contacts and hopefully build up a good client base.
I’d also love to go back to school and finally get that degree I’ve been wanting all these years. There sure isn’t the choice of schools and universities out here that there was in Philly, but I would love to do it. It’s probably too late for medical school to be a consideration for me. I’d have to go to school full time for close what, 8 years? Can’t afford that, wish I could. So, I might go to PA (physician assistant) school or nursing school or something, who knows. I just love medicine - at least I work in the medical malpractice field, so my job involves medicine to a great degree.
Anyway, I’ll keep ya posted, wish me luck!
posted by Miss_Vicki at 9:44 AM
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