Aromatherapy Gone Wrong

Ok, I’m not gonna beat around the bush about this, I’m just going to come out and say it.
My cat farts a lot. Ok, there! I’ve said it!

Ok first a little background before we get down to the nitty gritty. She’s 2, her name is Sebastian.



I know it’s not a ‘girl name,’ but when I got her 2 years ago, the people at the pet shop told me the kitten was a boy, and hey, what can I say, I believed them. I didn’t find out until a couple months later, at a trip to the vet for more ‘kitty shots,’ that he was in fact a she. But, I kept the name the same and here we are, I have a farting female feline cat with a male name. The shame!
Cue the song……..

Chorus:
Smelly Cat, Smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, smelly cat it's not your fault...
They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favorite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you're no friend to those with noses.
Smelly cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat it's not your fault!

But wait, it gets worse!!

So what could be worse, you ask, than a farting female feline?

My roommates have two cats – brothers, they got ‘em a day after I got mine. They are both adorable, but very, let’s say, unique.

Well, how do I say this delicately……. They are homosexual incestual cats.... in other words, they like to screw each other. (They’ve been neutered, keep in mind, also ‘house kitties,’ don’t go outside.) To keep up ‘appearances,’ they go through the motions and try to jump my cat’s bones (maybe no one told them it’s really a female, maybe they didn’t check either) and, being the smart although smelly cat she is, she wants nothing to do with the ‘smothers brothers.’ You go girl! So, the two boys are left with only each other for ‘company.’ As Tom Cruise once said, "Sometimes, you gotta say what the fuck. Take a chance." And, well, they did. It’s not pretty and highly disturbing, but the moral of today’s little ditty is, to each his own. Hey if that’s what makes ‘em happy, could it be so wrong?

I didn't post a picture of those 2, but if you're into gay cat porn, hey just ask ;)

So, in closing, if you ever come to my house, you’re bound to encounter all kinds of interesting sights and smells.

Hey, it could be worse, I could be putting one of the cats’ terds on Ebay, swearing it to be the spitting image of George W. ;)



http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5535890757