That’s Life – or Something Like That

Remember those? The days when you were young, your boobs were perky (well mine still are, but that’s because I haven’t had any kids), there were none of those little wrinkles beginning to form around your eyes, your biggest worry in life was if the hottest guy in school was going to ask you out for the prom, no responsibilities at all. Life was a party. Soon you’d be going off to college and life would be an even bigger party that included BARS! (The kind that served "Sex on the Beach," not the metal parallel kind :p) Could life get any better?

Then comes the 20’s. You graduate college – at least your diploma says so, because most of those years you don’t actually remember – and you’re ready to embark on a new, exciting adult life, tasting everything this exciting country has to offer… to live the American dream! After all, you’re a college graduate! That means something. You were now on the ‘fast track’ – you’d have the best job, the highest salary, the hot car, the even hotter boyfriend….. all you had to do was walk outside and take it. Right? This was IT!

By your mid 20’s, this momentum mysteriously stops, dead in its tracks and without any warning whatsoever. Somehow, when you walked into the door of XYZ Corporation, they didn’t offer you the Vice President’s job on the spot – corner office and all. They actually wanted you to start at the bottom and work your way up!!! The horror! So, your high salary turned into a not-so-great-and-now-that-you-mention-it-downright-shitty salary. Your hot car is not hot because it’s a new Bmer, it’s hot because it just overheated on the freeway and you had to walk the last frigging mile and a half to work. The hot boyfriend ... don’t even go there, suffice it to say that you’ve had 4 dates in the past 6 months and there was more fun had at your last dental appointment. What the fuck happened? Is this some dirty trick, like a surprise party when you think everyone forgot your birthday and you walk into your dark, quiet house to find 40 of your family and friends waiting to pounce on you with birthday wishes and presents?

As if it couldn’t get worse…… then the trauma hits… 30!!! Funny, at this point it doesn’t seem all that bad, though it’s been driven into your head that this is the absolute worst thing that can happen to a young person – you’re getting old. Things are NOT going as planned here. In fact, the plan went right out the freaking window, without your consent by the way.

(Side note: Now, this is certainly not everyone’s scenario – some are not only facing similar obstacles, but also have children to worry about. So, your hopes and dreams that you had for yourself as a young go-getter must be given to your children, because now you live for them. I don’t have kids, so this is excluded from my happy little story here.)

So, now you’re in your 30’s, you’re in debt up to your arse, Mr. Right seems to have left the building. You’ve only worked half-way up to the top because you won’t kiss the ass of your 50-something unhappily married and hopelessly horny bald boss, the hours are killing you as it is, not to mention the job sucks anyway. The wonderful dream of how your life was supposed to turn out is gone, your mother keeps reminding you that you’re a stone’s throw away from spinsterhood and she’s the laughing stock of all her bridge club because she has no grandchildren to brag about. You’ve managed to get yourself a new car, although still not "the" car, but somehow it just doesn’t seem that important anymore – but hey, at least it’s not breaking down on you every couple weeks.

Instead, one day you’re walking by a construction site on your way to get a latte for lunch and you hear the horrified scream of a construction worker somewhere up above yell, "Look Out!" But it’s too late, a piece of debris falls and hits you square on the head. You’re knocked on your ass, unconscious, laying on the cold, dirty street. You wake up an hour later, in a hospital, not knowing how the hell you got there or what happened to you, but you open your eyes and see the most beautiful, wonderful thing you could have hoped for…. his name is Brad. He’s 6’3", dark hair, blue eyes, and the best part…. without a wedding ring! You just know things are about to take a turn, because he’s smiling at you in that way that girls KNOW means something more than ‘I hope you’re feeling better.’

A year later you’re pushing 40, Mr. Right turns out to be a hot, sexy and sweet-as-can-be ER doc named Brad, and for your one-year anniversary he put a 2 carat diamond on your finger and asked you to be his wife. You sue the crap out of the construction company and get a nice settlement. Your attorney was so impressed with you he offered you a job at his law firm, at almost double the salary you were making for old baldy blueballs. One chunk of concrete has changed your entire life, and finally, you have every thing you wanted……

The moral of the story: one small moment can change everything, appreciate the little things, and enjoy and appreciate every blessing in your life.