A spare tire and then some

Today my friend and I, who carpool, were driving home from work, as we always do. There was a police car with its lights on stopped on the right-hand side of the road, blocking the right-hand lane. Out of the car came this monstrosity of a police officer. I mean shit, he had to way AT LEAST 350, and he was, I'd say, maybe 5'10" or thereabouts. I'm talkin HUGE. In and of itself, that isn't any big deal, but........ being a police officer? Isn't there some kind of physical requirements to meet? SOMETHING?? If I had, say, knocked off a liquor store or robbed a bank, whatever, and were fleeing on foot, and took a look at THAT GUY? Well shit, I'm home free! In fact, I could probably just take it down from a run-your-ass-off mad dash to a brisk walk and still get away with no problem. I just don't get it! That type of cop not only doesn't appear threatening in any way, shape or form, but couldn't possibly have the stamina or strength to do his job.

Granted, the guy in question here wasn't pursuing a fleeing felon, he was just blocking off a part of the road because a big tree branch had fallen into it. But STILL!! I mean, was he once in great shape and just 'let himself go'? Or was he that big to begin with, and showed up at the Police Academy one day and said, "sign me up to be a protector and defender, righter of wrongs, bad guy stopper"??? Would he, could he have been taken seriously?

I actually looked up the physical/medical requirements for the City of Los Angeles PD, which are:

MEDICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSESSMENT

...Candidates must be in excellent physical, emotional, and mental health with no conditions that restrict the ability to safely perform the essential functions of the police officer job. Good physical condition is necessary as training in the Academy is rigorous. Failure to be in excellent physical condition may delay or disrupt training and result in a dismissal from the Academy.

Medical Evaluation
A City physician performs a thorough medical evaluation. It is essential for candidates to be in excellent health, with no medical conditions that restrict the ability to safely perform the essential functions of the police officer job. A cardiac stress test or a treadmill may be performed as part of the medical evaluation.

Body Fat
Each candidate will have their percent of body fat determined during the medical evaluation process. A candidate must not exceed the current body fat percentage standard. The current standard is: Female 30% and Male 22%.

Now, to be fair, this ain't LA - I then looked up the physical testing requirements for the Porltand Police Bureau:

1. Mobility/Agility Run - 372 yards

Purpose: To test the applicant's physicial coordination, agility, muscular endurance, aerobic endurance....
Related Job Tasks: Police officers must have the physical ability to pursue suspects while navigating obstacles.

2. 165 Pound Dummy Drag - 40 feet

Purpose: To test the applicant's upper body strength, upper/lower body muscular endurance, and overall physical coordination.
Related Job Tasks: Police officers must have the ability to apprehend and control suspects and help injured officers to areas of safety.

3. Modified Squat Thrust and Stand Using Rail Vault

Purpose: To test the applicant's physical agility, and overall body stamina.
Related Job Tasks: Police officers must have the ability to maintain high levels of exertion in times of emergencies.

4. 80 Pound Torso Bag Carry - 50 feet

Ok, I can stop here, it's obvious this guy is long done dead. Now how in the FUCK is that guy a cop??