Pickin' the bones
First:
Why are people who work in fast food restaurants FUCKIN' MORONS???!!! It's not rocket science people. Doesn't require a lot of thought. Just tell me one thing, oh drive through window dude: why can't you get one fuckin' burger right? WHY!?! Do you not like me? Do you look at me, talking into a menu board in your little TV monitor, deciding I am the one you'll fuck with today? I guess I ask for it, really. I'm one of those weirdos that likes their cheeseburgers PLAIN. Bun, burger, cheese, bun. Nothing else (and well done too, but even get me started on that). There is just too much potential for disaster here, no? With all those little extras that most people find yummy and necessary to complete the perfect fast food burger, there's just too many ways they can screw it up. You'd think, however, that they'd LOVE ME, and not just because I'm cute! It's less work for them, right? No having to squirt the ketchup and mustard bottles in a simultaneous burst of color, no bending over to replenish the pickle chips container from the giganto bucket they were born in, no onions, no lettuce, no secret sauce even. It's easy, for both of us! Not only should they not screw it up, they should give me a mothafuckin discount for asking for less stuff on it! I swear, out of 10 times, they get it right maybe three times. And it doesn't matter which fast food place you go to - they all obviously dip into the same pool or moron teenagers for their employees. I rarely get fast food anymore, but this has happened to me my entire life - is there a support group for this? Hell, there's probably a mazaginze for it!
SECOND:
What's with cops that turn on their lights, and even sirens, for no reason? Do the REALLY need to get through the intersection that much faster? I mean, is the donut shop about to close, or run out of donuts? Today on my way home I'm driving down a 4 lane road (2 lanes each direction) - I'm in the left-hand lane, and this cop car comes into view, barreling down the road coming toard me, with it's lights on. I think, holy shit there must be somethin big goin' down, so I respectfully throw my turn signal on and quickly get over into the right-hand lane, to give the cop room to get where he needed to go and save the world, or at least Portland. So he zooms by and after a few seconds I look in my rear-view mirror, and HE TURNS OFF HIS LIGHTS and goes on about his merry way. WHAT THE FUCK? Did he get a call to rush to a burning house and save an old lady hanging out of the second floor window, only to get a second call saying "never mind, she fell, she's dead, go have a donut"?
Why are people who work in fast food restaurants FUCKIN' MORONS???!!! It's not rocket science people. Doesn't require a lot of thought. Just tell me one thing, oh drive through window dude: why can't you get one fuckin' burger right? WHY!?! Do you not like me? Do you look at me, talking into a menu board in your little TV monitor, deciding I am the one you'll fuck with today? I guess I ask for it, really. I'm one of those weirdos that likes their cheeseburgers PLAIN. Bun, burger, cheese, bun. Nothing else (and well done too, but even get me started on that). There is just too much potential for disaster here, no? With all those little extras that most people find yummy and necessary to complete the perfect fast food burger, there's just too many ways they can screw it up. You'd think, however, that they'd LOVE ME, and not just because I'm cute! It's less work for them, right? No having to squirt the ketchup and mustard bottles in a simultaneous burst of color, no bending over to replenish the pickle chips container from the giganto bucket they were born in, no onions, no lettuce, no secret sauce even. It's easy, for both of us! Not only should they not screw it up, they should give me a mothafuckin discount for asking for less stuff on it! I swear, out of 10 times, they get it right maybe three times. And it doesn't matter which fast food place you go to - they all obviously dip into the same pool or moron teenagers for their employees. I rarely get fast food anymore, but this has happened to me my entire life - is there a support group for this? Hell, there's probably a mazaginze for it!
SECOND:
What's with cops that turn on their lights, and even sirens, for no reason? Do the REALLY need to get through the intersection that much faster? I mean, is the donut shop about to close, or run out of donuts? Today on my way home I'm driving down a 4 lane road (2 lanes each direction) - I'm in the left-hand lane, and this cop car comes into view, barreling down the road coming toard me, with it's lights on. I think, holy shit there must be somethin big goin' down, so I respectfully throw my turn signal on and quickly get over into the right-hand lane, to give the cop room to get where he needed to go and save the world, or at least Portland. So he zooms by and after a few seconds I look in my rear-view mirror, and HE TURNS OFF HIS LIGHTS and goes on about his merry way. WHAT THE FUCK? Did he get a call to rush to a burning house and save an old lady hanging out of the second floor window, only to get a second call saying "never mind, she fell, she's dead, go have a donut"?
posted by Miss_Vicki at 7:00 PM
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