Me, Myself and I

A little about me……

Well since I’ve started ‘blogging’ (Can ‘blog be a verb? I’m new to all this stuff, so forgive my limited knowledge of ‘the lingo’) I haven’t said much about myself, so here’s the completely boring story that is me. Most of you post about things that happen in your day to day lives, but being as I don’t have much of one, I usually skip all that shit :o)

I’m almost 37, divorced, no kids. It still freaks me out to no end to actually say that out loud. I go to work (work as a legal assistant, legal secretary, wonder woman, whatever you wanna call it), go to the gym, come home and watch TV most nights. Wow, exciting shit so far, huh? I’m originally from Philadelphia – well the burbs anyway, I’m not crazy or stupid enough to live in the city – I may have no life, but I don’t want to give it up just yet either. Just picked up and moved out to the west coast 3 years ago after the split with my ex. Very good guy, we were together since I was 19 – we just completely grew apart. He was always the ‘strong, silent type’ – you know the kind. I could not be myself with him, I always felt inhibited around him, and no matter what I did I just didn’t seem to make him happy, and vice versa. Plus…… hold onto your hats, boys and girls….. he didn’t like sports. Da horrah! I kind of require that in a guy. I'm a huge baseball and football fan. I don't like 'girly things' like cooking, crafts, etc - I'm a tomboy for the most part but still at least look girly. On Sundays I was in front of the TV all day watching football, and he liked to bake so, he was in the kitchen making cheesecake or something.

As we both grew up, I became more confident and more of ‘the real me’ came out. I was always really REALLY shy, so it took me longer than most. But I also have a fun, smart assy, sexy side. Then came the Internet. I quickly made a lot of ‘on line friends’ through different message boards, and soon got completely wrapped up in it all, and grew even further away from him, as he wasn't into that AT ALL. Then, he got hurt and was out of work awhile (heating and air conditioning) and became even more miserable than before, and that was kind of the last straw.

So, I was completely stressed out from that, not to mention the east coast attorneys worked at a pace faster than the speed of sound, and an attorney at the law firm I was working for raved and raved about the ‘clean air, laid back lifestyle’ of Oregon. I had a friend who lived in the area, so I came out for a visit, and fell in love with the place. Instantly. So I decided what the fuck, I’m gonna move out there. Why not, right? I mean, what's stopping me? My parents still lived in Philly and were getting up there in age, but my sister still lived nearby so I knew they’d be taken care of if necessary.

Luckily, I got a job on the spot when I moved out here – within a week. For some reason, I’ve never ever had trouble getting a job. Must be cuz I’m so damn cute :op

So, here I am, 3 years later, being my own person, watching all the sports I want, not worrying about what ‘he’ thinks of me anymore. I can be myself, and I’m really enjoying it. I’m still shy as hell, so I do spend a lot of time on the net, but it's starting to get easier as I age (figures..... that's a cruel joke, isn't it?). It’s much easier for me to ‘interact’ online, because of this shyness. It really sucks, but I can’t seem to get past it. Oh well.

One thing about me - I LOVE animals. Nothing makes me happier than holding a kitten or a puppy (or a lion or tiger cub, if someone would let me - one of my dreams), nothing. I can't bear to see or hear about an animal being hurt. If I ever see someone doing it - I'm afraid of what I might do. Seriously. I'd want to cut the dickhead's heart out and stuff it down his throat. One of my dreams is to work with animals - at a wildlife rehab, or shelter, or somewhere like that. Somehow, I just never seemed to get there. Plus, I get way too emotional about animals and just don't know if I could handle it emotionally. I've been working in the legal field since I was 19 and I'm very good at it, so I just kept on doing it. Easier, I guess.

I'm in one of those funks lately where I say to myself .... "You've done absolutely NOTHING with your life, you're almost 37, single, with no kids. How much more pathetic could you get?" I guess a pre-menopausal (God, I hate that word too), mid-life crisis sort of thing. I'm basically with things, but just afraid I'm going to die this old, lonely poor woman with 50 cats that all the neighborhood kids make fun of. Let's hope that doesn't happen, for everyone's sake.

Ok, well that's about it for now. Anything else you wanna know, just ask. Sorry for the bore-fest :op